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From Good People Skill to Great Relationships

I believe that all people are awesome… some just don’t know it yet.


Those who know me best know that I’m a simple man. This is not by choice. In school I always struggled paying attention or staying focused. I can’t read fast and have to read sentences several times. Today that would get me a label, like ADD. Be that as it may, what this means is that I had to work harder than most and keep on keeping on. This I can do. I can show up over and over, and as the quote goes “90% of success is just showing up”.



I always had good people skills. I could listen and communicate with people quite easily. Later in life I learned that the reason for this is that I am a God-loving and compassionate man. Today I can truly say that I love people. I believe that all people are awesome… some just don’t know it yet. The bottom-line is that any real success I’ve had has been because of the relationships I’ve built.



A huge part of building relationships is communication. It’s often said that the key to success in relationships, including business relationships, is communication, communication, and communication! It must be true because it is generally known that there have been more breakups in marriages, friendships and businesses due to a breakdown in communication. A big one is a breakdown in communication in politics and beliefs, which has been the cause of many wars throughout history.



The good news is that communication is a skill we can learn. It is one that requires courage, patience, and self-control. It’s hard to listen to or critique someone with courtesy and respect when we are irritated or angry. For many it’s also hard to give compliments because they don’t know how.



To develop my communication skills, I’ve read several self-help books. But the place where the rubber has met the road is a life coaching workshop put on by a non-profit organization in Austin, Texas, called Discovery Programs. In Discovery I learned how to provide feedback and communicate on difficult subjects with respect, courtesy, and empathy. I learned how to communicate to show love, compassion and admiration; how to say no (without feeling guilty); how to talk about things that have not been said for years but need to; when to stay quiet and just listen; how to speak in front of people; how to not care what people think; how to pray in front of people; and how to reflect before I speak. However, the biggest thing it did for me was give me the courage to communicate on any level. Priceless!



Since I’m a simple man, I love quotes because they are simple yet profound. I leave you with a few of my favorite ones about communication that I keep on my bathroom mirror. Love, hugs, and respect to you, and may God hold you in palm of his hand.



- Mike Reeder


“DON’T STEP ON PEOPLE’S TOES, STEP INO THEIR SHOES.”

– Book: JUST LISTEN by Mark Goulston

 

“DON’T BE INTERESTING, BE INTERESTED.”

- Book: JUST LISTEN by Mark Goulston

 

“KEEP YOUR WORDS SOFT AND SWEET, JUST IN

CASE YOU HAVE TO EAT THEM.”

– Andy Rooney

 

"ONE OF THE MOST SINCERE FORMS OF RESPECT IS ACTUALLY LISTENING TO WHAT ANOTHER HAS TO SAY."

- Bryant H. McGill

 

“IF YOUR FOOT SLIPS, YOU CAN ALWAYS RECOVER YOUR BALANCE, IF YOUR TONGUE SLIPS, YOU CAN NEVER RECOVER THE WORDS.”

– Benjamen Franklin

 

“HE WHO ASKS MAY BE A FOOL FOR 5 MINUTES, HE WHO DOES NOT, IS A FOOL FOR A LIFETIME "

– Chinese Proverb

 

"WE HAVE TWO EARS AND ONE TONGUE SO THAT WE WOULD LISTEN MORE AND TALK LESS."

- Diogenes

 

"IN TEAMWORK, SILENCE ISN'T GOLDEN, IT'S DEADLY."

— Mark Sanborn

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